


Resurgam

by Finnis



Series: sub iove [4]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gen, Implied Relationships, Talking, interpret it as you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 01:11:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21902722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finnis/pseuds/Finnis
Summary: Stealing away in the early hours of dawn was pure bliss.Meeting Kaworu just made it even better.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji & Nagisa Kaworu
Series: sub iove [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559362
Kudos: 4





	Resurgam

**Author's Note:**

> eheheh last part of 'sub iove'
> 
> no one really read it, but i had fun writing it, and thats what counts, is it not?
> 
> thank you for sticking with me, if you did :) and happy holidays (im just gonna assume you guys have winter holidays rn as well)
> 
> Title means 'I shall arise'

**Jeg skal stige lik solen**   
  


The sun rose like it did on any other day; there was nothing mystical about, nothing to marvel at, nothing at all.

Shinji stepped out on the balcony, his arms wrapping around his upper body instinctively, shielding his frail build from the still rather cold air of just another morning. He looked at the horizon with eyes that did not want to see anything; the lights of Neo-Tokyo 3 were reflected in his blue irises and twinkled like they wanted to compete with the lone stars in the sky.

He sighed, grabbing the railing with one hand and clutching his music player with the other one like his life depended on it, occasionally switching between track 25 and 26. His toes grew numb after a few minutes, but the thought of going back inside, of having to deal with everyone who might be – or not be – there pained him, and thus he bided his time, the early rays of the sun doing nothing to warm his body, only clad in pyjamas and a light overcoat. 

When he lost control over his fingers, he decided he’d spent enough time outside, deeming it safe enough to venture back into the warmth of the apartment. Maybe his head had become foggy, too, or was frozen to the point of not having to think.

Shinji tiptoed towards his own room, avoiding any collisions with the mess that was currently going on around him and shut the sliding door softly behind him, blocking out Misato’s snoring. As soon as he thought himself to be in safety, he pulled off the coat and looked around for his everyday clothes. Grabbing a shirt from a nearby box and a pair of pants and socks from a dresser, he changed as fast as he could. Silently he opened the slider once again, snuck out of his room and grabbed his keys which lay in the kitchen, before making his way over to the front door, where he slipped into his shoes and made sure to quietly shut it behind him. Only then did he dare to breathe out, resting his hand on the wall beside his head.

He pulled over his coat once again, stuffed the keys into his pockets and made his way down the stairs, not that concerned about absolute silence now that he was out of Misato’s reach.

When he reached the entrance area and stepped out onto the street, the streetlamps were just starting to turn off one after one and thus he hardly noticed another figure lounging around close to the entrance.

Flinching back, he grabbed the handle of the door behind him, prepared to run back inside at the first sign of danger, but the other person – a boy his age – stepped out of the shadows, his white hair almost shining in the near-darkness.

“I have been waiting for you, Shinji-kun,” the boy said, smiling softly at him and holding his hand out.

He tried smiling back, but the shock still transfixed his body, constricting his movement. “Kaworu-kun.” He finally greeted back. “How long have you been here?”

The other shrugged. It was a rigid gesture, jerky and uncoordinated. “Does it matter, Shinji-kun? You've come at last, haven't you?”

Shinji didn’t know how to answer, so he kept quiet, decidedly staring at the almost ethereal being in front of him, who still held out his arm and beckoned for Shinji to take it. He complied, grabbing it and entwining their fingers.

Kaworu’s smile didn’t falter; if possible, it grew even bigger, and confidently he started walking down the street, seemingly with a purpose. Shinji hurried along to keep pace.

When he couldn’t stand the silence anymore, he spoke up once again. “So,” Shinji croaked out before clearing his throat, and trying anew, “so, why have you been waiting here for me? Surely you had something better to do?”

The other boy regarded him with a contemplative look. “I don’t think there is anything more important than you, at the moment,” he finally said, and dragged Shinji along who had slightly stumbled at his words.

“You are,” he paused, thinking about the best way to phrase what he wanted to say next, “very honest.” And it was the truth. Out of all people he had ever met, he felt as if Kaworu would never lie to him, never desert him. He simply couldn’t fathom the boy to do something as wretched as this, he trusted him with all his heart.

“Is that a bad thing?” Kaworu asked, curiosity lingering in his gaze. “If you want me to, I could lie as not to make you uncomfortable.”

Shinji vehemently shook his hand, raising both arms to wave Kaworu’s suggestion away before his gaze landed on their conjoined hands and he dropped them quickly, nevertheless not letting go of the other boy as if he could disappear any minute. “I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t want you to lie to me,” he admitted, turning his head away. “They all do… they all lie to me. But you don’t!” At that he raised his head, staring directly into Kaworu’s eyes and gripping his hand harder. “Never lie to me!”

Kaworu chuckled, and it sounded like warm honey. “Only, if you will never lie to me either,” he said, smiling down at Shinji and squeezing back.

Nodding, he tentatively smiled back. “I wouldn’t. I’m not a confident liar, anyway.”

A comfortable silence had settled between them as they walked on, the sun slowly creeping upwards and illuminating the tops of the highest buildings, casting long shadows down upon the earth. The first birds started singing and the air grew warmer, filled with the scent of dew and salty sea air. A breeze of air pushed their fringes out of their faces, played with their bedheads and it felt like a loving mother running her fingers through their hair.

Shinji was the first to break through the silence once again. “Where are we going, by the way?” He asked, peering up at the slightly taller Kaworu. When that just elicited a smile, he pressed on, “No really, where are we going?”

Kaworu hummed, as if in thought, debating if he should reveal his secret or not. “I want to show you something,” he relented, as vague as possible.

Shinji opted to stay quiet at that, noticing that he couldn’t coax his goal out of the boy beside him. Instead he just trained his eyes onto the street again and deliberately placed step after step, avoiding the cracks in the pavement which were now visible in the light of the rising sun.

Kaworu noticed what he’d been doing and started mimicking his behaviour shortly afterwards. “Why are you doing this?” He asked after a while of him not stepping onto any cracks and Shinji trying to do the same but failing miserably.

“It’s a child’s game,” he explained, “it means bad luck when you step on the cracks.” He was so immersed in this memory of a long bygone time, that he didn’t notice Kaworu coming to a halt in front of an open gate. Only when their still entwined hands pulled him back did he stop as well.

“While that seems to be a lot of fun, the thing I want to show you is here,” Kaworu remarked, his sly gaze still on Shinji, who blushed under the intensity of it and tried to avert his eyes. Kaworu carefully pushed the gate aside so they could step inside the park and guided them in, manoeuvring around as if he knew the place by heart. He led them by a pond, its surface rippling now and then, and to a small bench located beneath a tree, ripe apples hanging from its branches and green leaves partly obscuring their view.

He sat down and pulled Shinji beside him, their hands resting in the space between them.

“So what is it?” He asked, expectantly looking at the other as if he held the answers to the universe.

Kaworu just smiled that enigmatic smile, and pulled a small, wooden box from the pockets of his trousers, taking it into his right hand and trying to open the clasp on it. “I saw the other Lilin do it,” he explained. “And they all seemed very happy about receiving this.”

He finally managed to open the box just outside of Shinji’s range of vision, but something glittered in the sunlight filtering through the leaves. Then he lifted their entwined hands and took Shinji’s right hand into both of his own, cupping it between his warm fingers so Shinji couldn’t see what was going on.

When he released Shinji’s hand, a golden, intricate ring glittered on his fourth finger, its cold, smooth surface perfectly fitted to his finger.

Immediately the brown-haired boy began to stutter, turning red, and his gaze went back and forth between the ring and Kaworu’s still smiling face. “Wha- you didn’t- why did- there’s no- no need for-“ He interrupted his rambling to gaze open-mouthed at the other.

Kaworu’s smile fell and he frowned. “Do you not like my gift?”

Shinji hesitantly shook his head. “That’s not it,” he said, gnawing on the inside of his mouth. “It’s just that- do you know what this means?”

The other cocked his head to the side, apparently confused. “It’s a symbol for two people who are fond of one another, is it not?”

“Well, kind of,” Shinji relented, still not daring to look Kaworu in the eye. “But not like you think. It’s for- for romantic partners!”

“Ah,” Kaworu said softly, raising Shinji’s beringed hand into the air so the ring could catch the light. “I suppose you do not want that, then.”

“It’s not- I just- I don’t know what to think. Yet.” He finished lamely, although he didn’t pull his hand away.

“That is alright,” Kaworu cooed, “there’s a lot you Lilin don’t understand. After all-“

But Shinji interrupted him. “Still, I-“ he cut himself off, swallowing the lump in his throat before hastily continuing, “I- if you think it’d be a good idea, then it’s all right. I want to believe in everything you believe! But I don’t want to get married!”

Kaworu smiled and squeezed his hand once again. “Alright, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> you wouldnt believe how many evangelion wedding rings there are. Like literally, why the heck are there so many
> 
> If someone wants to propose to me using one of these, im legally obliged to say yes
> 
> wouldnt it be super cute if kaworu gave him [this](https://global.rakuten.com/en/store/u-treasure/item/rev-101-k18yg/) ring?
> 
> im sure he has the money lmaoo


End file.
